Social dance party — without husband

Smooth salsa by Alla Bespalov
Smooth salsa by Alla Bespalov

Two months after that first discouraging salsa night I decided to try again. This time without husband – he was sick – but armed with contacts made during dance class. The evening couldn’t have been more different. I danced with everyone I knew, and I got invited by some people I had never met. I finally felt like I was flying again. And to top it all up I found the bachata room…

At that point I had never taken a bachata class in my life, but I had danced it many times in the States. At that time in life I was hitting the singles scene, and bachata was very popular as it is potentially danced much closer than salsa. It is a romantic dance, and can be very sexy. My group of friends used to call this tight, sensual version “dirty bachata”, as a tribute to the famous 80s movie “Dirty Dancing” with Patrick Swayze.

I happen to love dirty bachata! A boyfriend from that time was a really good dancer and taught me all sorts of moves. Lovely memories…

Once I was in the bachata room I didn’t have to wait long for someone to invite me. As the dance ended, I noticed you in the room. Instead of leaving, I watched for a moment, and soon you asked me to dance under the guise of showing two complete beginners how to dance bachata. I was in seventh heaven to be dancing so close to you. Even if you were in teacher mode, I still got to embrace you for a full song! This was very unexpected. After all, I was sure that you didn’t like me.

Why? Because you consistently ignored me during classes, and you chose anyone but me to demonstrate a move. Whenever it was my turn to dance with you, you stopped the music, or did something short, so you wouldn’t have to dance with me any longer than strictly necessary. Figures with any kind of closeness were never practiced with me. And whenever I tried to talk to you, you were in a rush to get away. It drive me crazy! Especially because I could see how sweet you were with everyone else.

Noche de salsa by Alla Bespalov
Noche de salsa by Alla Bespalov

My husband’s theory was that you felt attracted to me and that’s why you acted this way. Basically to hide your feelings. My mum had the same idea. I brushed it off, but secretly hoped that they were right. Of course I couldn’t be sure. But if you didn’t like me, why did you ask me to dance? And why did you move my hands over your chest? It is a valid move in bachata, but still, why lead that with someone unless you like her? I also have a vague memory of you touching my shoulder during the dance, and then pulling away as if you changed your mind. But I’m not sure that really happened. I must have been in a daze…

That night I couldn’t sleep because I was too excited. I felt aroused, beautiful, sexy and full of naughty fantasies. I hadn’t felt like that in a long time. Whether I’m projecting my feelings onto your eyes or not, your gaze makes me feel adored and admired in a very tender, yet passionate way.

Whatever happens in the future, I will always be grateful for the awakening effect you had on me.


Stay tuned to find out what happens next by following my blog. 

Click here if you haven’t read about my Oedipal past and how I was inspired to write poetry again after 22 years and click here to read the poem in question.

xoxo, Cuban salsa girl.

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